


A test of friendship [Cancelled]

by IgnoctForeverEtchedInMyHeart



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chill XV, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Some characters will act differently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-11-20 09:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11333121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IgnoctForeverEtchedInMyHeart/pseuds/IgnoctForeverEtchedInMyHeart
Summary: A story of growing up where friendship between royalty and those serving them is severely frowned upon...*** I'm so sorry to anyone who liked this fic but I feel unable to continue it. I had plans for it but it was getting too close to my own mental health issues that I had to cut it because it was hurting too much to write it. I won't take down what I've already posted in case anyone ever wants to reread it or whatever but I have no intention to continue. I'm sorry :'( ***





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this document waiting to upload since April lol
> 
> The prologue here is just to set the scene and show how their relationship has grown over the years.
> 
> It will get happier ^.^
> 
> I hope you enjoy :D

_Ignis._

_Being around him used to be easy but with time, everything changes and it was just something Noctis had to accept…_

 

**Noctis: 5**

When they were children they had so naturally fell into an unconditional friendship, breaking their defined roles as prince and advisor-in-training. It was something that many of the palace's staff frowned upon and often ended with Ignis being scolded. Every time Ignis was disciplined, Noctis would apologise with all the apologetic vocabulary he knew but nothing felt adequate for the yelling that Ignis often endured.

Ignis never minded, nor did he want the most special person in his life to utter such words. To him, if his superiors wanted to reprimand him for not acting in the proper manner around the royal family then he would accept it because he knew it was them in the wrong. Noctis was a child and he needed friendship above all else right now.

Eight-year-old Ignis knelt on the floor and took Noctis’ hands into his own. “Noctis,” Ignis spoke looking directly into the teary prince's eyes, “I’ll be by your side no matter what the adults say. Always.”

“Always?” Noctis sniffed, as he gripped his friend's hands a little tighter. He couldn’t understand why the adults kept trying to break apart their friendship. Was being friends really a bad thing?

Ignis smiled kindly at his prince. “Always. I promise.”

 

**Noctis: 6**

Noctis kicked a pebble along the ground, listening intently as it rattled along the paving slabs. The adults were being mean again and keeping Ignis away, making him do whatever he did when they weren't together.

It had been two days since he'd last heard Ignis being told off for not behaving properly. No one knew that Noctis had been hiding under a desk the whole time; he had flinched every time another person raised their voice at his friend. But no matter how much the adults were mean to Ignis, he never cried. Noctis hoped that he would be as brave as Ignis when he reaches 9 years old too.

He waited for a long time to crawl out from under the desk and when he finally did, the lights were off and it was dark. He wanted Ignis.

That night Noctis had struggled to fall asleep without Ignis close. Ignis always told the best stories and held his hand whenever he felt lonely.

 

**Noctis: 8**

Eleven-year-old Ignis took Noctis’ hand into his own and pressed a small gemstone into his hand. “Noct, this will protect you from your nightmares whenever I can’t be with you. Keep it with you and then you’ll always feel me close by.” Ignis wrapped Noctis’ fingers around the stone.

Noctis brought his hand closer to him and looked at the object that Ignis had given him, it was a colourful pebble but seemed different to those that he found in the garden. He looked up at his best friend and asked, “What is it?”

Ignis smiled at Noctis’ curiosity. “It’s a garnet. People wear them for protection.” He watched as the prince’s eyes widened at the garnet followed by a huge smile. “Do you like it?”

Noctis nodded frantically. “I do! You’re the best, Iggy!” Noctis hugged his advisor. He loved the gift and couldn’t wait to keep it with him forever!

Ignis held Noctis close to him and rested his chin on the top of Noctis’ head. “Happy birthday…”

 

**Noctis: 14**

Noctis walked through the corridors of the palace in silence with Ignis following behind him. His advisor had just turned seventeen and was more attractive than ever before but at only fourteen he had no chance of catching Ignis’ attention and it left him feeling miserable. Not only did almost everyone frown upon their friendship whenever they slipped up in public, Noctis couldn’t even behave how he wanted around Ignis because not only would it be inappropriate, but also unwelcome.

He hung his head, feeling Ignis’ eyes on him. He could always tell when Ignis was paying him close attention. Noctis braved a glance back at his advisor to be greeted with a warm smile, he turned away quickly - it was that exact smile that always made his heart pound. Why did Ignis have to grow up into such an attractive man? Why couldn’t he of grown up to look like every other normal and boring person around the palace?

Noctis wasn’t comfortable with his own body. Not only was he much shorter than Ignis, only coming up to his chin, he also had no muscle to speak of which left him loathing the body he was given. Someone as charming and good-looking as Ignis would never go for someone like him…

Ignis’ brow pulled together at Noctis’ actions. He hadn’t expected the prince to break away from their mutual gaze so quickly, it left him downhearted. Everything he did was for Noctis, to make him happy and see him thrive but lately, he’d experienced nothing but distance from the person his life revolved around, it was saddening, to say the least…

 

 

**Noctis: 15**

Ignis sat alone in his new apartment, it was quite the accomplishment to only be eighteen and be able to buy a property outright with your own money. Many boxes sat around him untouched. He’d only moved in yesterday but after the stressful days he had endured dealing with Noctis’ insufferable teenage behaviour he’d found little time or energy to dedicate to the task of unpacking.

When he’d decided to move out of the palace’s staff quarters, he thought he’d find solace away from his superiors who were always overlooking his work with the prince. No matter how Ignis conducted himself, his superiors always found a way to criticise him. It left him drained and with little job satisfaction.

Noctis had become absurd with his behaviour. The prince was only fifteen but was pestering him most days to help him leave the palace. Ignis understood, of course, but through all his efforts to have the king agree that Noctis could leave upon his sixteenth birthday, the prince never showed him an ounce of appreciation.

Ignis hung his head in his hands. He had no idea what had gone wrong in his friendship with Noctis. They had grown up best friends despite the trouble it had got Ignis into multiple times.

The only solution he could see was to close himself off. Ignore everyone. He would simply do his duty and no more.

 

**Noctis: 16**

Ignis.

Being around him used to be easy but with time, everything changes and it was just something Noctis had to accept…

Ignis was completely different now and Noctis hated it. No longer did Ignis offer him his bed when he couldn’t sleep or his even his time. Noctis felt alone and to some degree, he knew it was his fault.

He’d been so distracted but the thought of turning sixteen and being able to get away from the palace that he’d completely ignored Ignis’ advice and just went ahead choosing the apartment that he wanted. Only afterwards did he consider that Ignis lived almost an hour away and would need to move closer to perform his duties. 

But still, even when Ignis was around, he wasn’t the same. He didn’t show any emotion anymore and it left Noctis feeling angry and confused. Sometimes Noctis just wanted to yell at his advisor just to try and see some emotion but he didn’t want to do any more damage to their already strained advisor-prince relationship, they weren’t even friends anymore.

The flat soon became an unsolvable mess that Noctis washed his hands with. Ignis could sort it. Not like the advisor even spoke to him beyond what was needed to be said about the stupid amount of reports that he brought.

At this point Noctis couldn’t care less about the reports. His evenings were filled at the arcade with his friend Prompto. Someone who actually gave a damn about him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been a long time coming but I fell out of the fandom for a while >.<
> 
> Hopefully I'll get all my fic's updated this week ^.^
> 
> Let me know what you think :D

The moment Ignis closed the door to his room within the staff quarters of the citadel, he kicked his shoes off in frustration. He took several calming deep breaths before paying the offending items any mind then abruptly he went to straighten them besides the door, ready for the next inconvenient beckon call from the rebellious, inconsiderate and unappreciative prince. If he’d of left the shoes in that state of disarray, it would only have continued to play on his mind.

How had his life come to this?

Why had he sacrificed his entire childhood and adolescent years studying and training, often pushing himself to his absolute limits just to serve an insufferable teenager who refuses to listen to his advice?

He felt defeated, the same as he did every evening these days.

He knew when they were children that serving Noctis was going to be challenging without the pressure from the senior Crownsguard to keep the prince at a distance, but this was beyond what he’d imagined.

What had changed so drastically that even Noctis had decided to treat him just as coldly as everyone else?

Despite that, he still had an 18th birthday ball to continue preparing for next week. The prince, of course, had no interest in attending and Ignis was riddled with feelings of dread at having to spend even more time with the person who had become the bane of his existence these past few years.

It was difficult to believe that only a few short years ago they had once been the closest of friends. Friends whose bond he thought was stronger than this.

His superiors had won.

The prince and the advisor had no relationship beyond what was required for the kingdom.

These days Ignis felt stuck in his inner turmoil. He felt like a lone man who had to be there for everyone else but had no one to be there for him.

Maybe he was stuck in the past, but each time another member of the Crownsguard told him that he was performing his role admirably, the twinge of sadness inside of him grew a little more. 

The loss of a friendship with the only person he’d ever cared about, was incredibly painful.

If his parents had known the truth of how he would be treated when they enrolled him into Crownsguard training as a child, would even they still have subjected him to this unfulfilling and excessively lonely life? Sadly it was too late to find out…

 

\-----

 

The next morning he awoke with a start as he struggled to find his phone in the dark. The sound of the ringtone reserved only for Noctis sounded through the room at a glaringly loud volume for him in his rudely awaken state. 

Ignis brought the phone close to his face to minimalize the blur and read the time before answering.

“Three-thirty.. why is he even…?” He let out a frustrated sigh before he brought the phone to his ear. “Good morning, your highness.”

_“Hey.”_

Noctis’ voice sounded dull, void of all emotion, it brought a frown to Ignis’ face as he fumbled for the light switch and sat up in his bed, reluctantly accepting the fact that he was now awake for the day. “How can I assist you?”

_“I can’t sleep… I wanted that thing you make…”_

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose to try and stop himself from letting a curse slip through his lips. “Of course. I will be with you shortly.”

_“Good... See you soon…”_

Before Ignis could respond, Noctis had already hung up on him. He closed his eyes, dreading the long day that he now had to endure.

He rushed through his usual morning activities faster than he would have liked to. The water he had to shower in was freezing, he consumed his last can of ebony and the shoes that he had kicked off in frustration last night had gotten visibly scuffed. All in all, today didn’t look promising.

When Ignis arrived at the prince’s apartment, he was disgusted at the filth that greeted him, despite only having been here eight hours prior. Somehow food wrappers, empty bottles and dirty clothes littered the floor. The culprit was found lazily laid on the sofa, dressed only in boxers with a game controller in hand.

“Highness,” Ignis greeted, trying to hide the displeased hiss from his voice. He watched as Noctis remained fixated on the TV, not even a glance in his direction. How was a teenager ever going to ascend to the role of a king? 

It was then that Ignis noticed the stack of unread reports he had left earlier for the prince's attention, now were sloppily spread across the floor. With a small disapproving shake of his head, Ignis collected the reports and once again organised them into an order of importance on the table. He sighed; food stains now offended several of the report folders.

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose and swiftly turned away to hide the gesture and yet again he found himself asking why did he continue to put himself through this?

“Hey.”

Ignis raised an eyebrow at the prince’s delayed response before heading to the kitchenette. Oh, how he felt unworthy of such enthusiastic acknowledgement. The sooner he was finished here, the quicker his day would improve with dull reports and meetings. He may even be able to return to his room for a quick nap before is mandatory evaluation with his superiors this afternoon.

“Make sure you don’t make them all flaky again!”

Ignis stilled for a moment and closed his eyes while he took a deep breath at the ungrateful request before calmly responding, “of course, your highness.”

He quickly set to work on the pastries that the ungrateful prince had selfishly asked for at an unsociable hour. The moment they were set to cool, he gathered his things and turned to the distracted prince.

“The pastries will be ready in twenty minutes. I suggest that once you’ve indulged in your calorific delights, that you try to get some sleep. Your father is expecting you for lunch.” He watched as Noctis shrugged, and grunted some sort of disinterested response. He observed the younger man for a moment before making his exit known, “farewell, your highness.” Then with the increasing relief of leaving, he turned to walk towards the front door.

“Wait!” 

Ignis looked over his shoulder at the younger man who had followed him. This behaviour was most unusual. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your unexpected acknowledgement?” Ignis asked, as he observed the prince’s body language, certainly that he saw him wince in response, it was then that he realised the bitterness he felt had leaked into his voice.

He watched as Noctis went to speak, his mouth moved but no sound came out. After a few moments of staring at the floor, the prince backed away and muttered, “never mind.”

Noctis’ behaviour was most unusual and left Ignis perplexed. That was the closest to a conversation they had come in a _very_ long time. He hung his head as he slipped on his shoes.

Ignis didn’t want to assume anything of the prince’s odd behaviour but he couldn’t deny the dishearted feeling that came across him when Noctis failed to say whatever it was that he was trying to put across.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter but I haven't forgotten this fic ^.^

Ignis stood at the side of the ballroom, keeping Noctis in his sights as the younger man forced himself to greet all the guests that had turned up to celebrate the prince’s 18th birthday. So far everything had run smoothly and Ignis had once again received no acknowledgement for his involvement.

By now, he should have realised that he’d never receive a ‘thank you’ from the prince, despite all the work that he put in.

His superiors, on the other hand, were impressed. He was praised for how well everything had come together, how the prince was handling himself and how he himself was fulfilling his role admirably. Every compliment he got was another twist of pain in his chest.

He couldn’t help questioning the goings on around him. Was it normal for servants to the crown to feel so isolated? Did everyone else in service to the royal family feel so personally unfulfilled or was he just unsuitable for this lifestyle? And if this was how he felt, how did Noctis feel? Had Noctis even the capacity to feel lonely? The young prince was so consumed with his computer games that he rarely had time to his own thoughts. Was that a coping mechanism? In the same way that Ebony gave Ignis some relief to get through the day?

Ignis watched Noctis. He could tell the smile on the younger man’s face was fake. Ignis hadn’t seen a real smile on the prince’s face in years. He suspected the young man Prompto must make him happy though or it made no sense how much time the pair had begun to spend in each other’s company.

Ignis hadn’t expected it, but Noctis locked eyes with him across the room. Noctis looked as though he was pleading to be saved from the uncomfortable situation he was in but it was out of Ignis’ control. If he were to act and divert the youth from the conversation, he’d later feel the wrath of his superiors. Had Noctis treated him a little more kindly of late, then that repercussion would have been worth it but unfortunately, Noctis had treated him coldly, so Ignis turned a blind eye.

 

\-----

 

Noctis’ heart stopped when he saw Ignis look away. He didn’t want to be here and the constant demand to socialise with people he barely knew with making his chest tight. Noctis knew he should have prepared for it but turning eighteen had meant that everyone was now trying to partner him up with their daughters or granddaughters and it was unnerving.

This didn’t feel like a birthday celebration. This felt like he was a lamb surrounded by lions. Each family were just as passive-aggressive as the next, all wanting the power that a marriage to him would bring.

“Excuse me…” Noctis apologised as he tugged at the collar of his shirt. Had it been this tight earlier?

He made his way through the ballroom trying to look as composed as possible and he found himself a glass of water and chugged it down. He couldn’t take much more of this. Noctis glanced in Ignis’ direction and was met by stoic emerald eyes. 

If only he’d of been more open and honest with Ignis, maybe he’d of helped? No. Any openness with his advisor would just bring the man more undeserving punishment.

Noctis turned back to face the people in attendance and immediately he saw a dozen eyes fixated on him, all of them looked ready to pounce.

He just had to get through tonight… tomorrow was another day…

 

\-----

 

That night Ignis drove the prince home in silence. The prince never made an attempt to engage in conversation so Ignis decided not to either. His life was easier the less that he allowed himself to care.

He saw Noctis’ reflection in the rear-view mirror, the prince looked sullen with his eyes downcast.

Ignis couldn’t help the ounce of regret that he felt for not helping the prince earlier. 

No matter how much he tried to keep himself from caring, it seemed it just wasn’t in his person to continue like this.

Ignis cleared his throat as he turned around a corner. It had been a long time since he had voluntarily spoken to the prince but he pushed himself forward. “Your Highness, if I may, I would like to apologise for my behaviour earlier.”

Noctis’ eyes widened as he listened to Ignis. He tried his hardest not to meet his advisors gaze in the mirror. How long had it been since Ignis had spoken to him without being annoyed about something he had failed to do? “It’s okay… I didn’t really think you’d help anyway…” His voice trailed off as he looked out of the window at the city that he would one day have to unwillingly rule.

Ignis swallowed, that had hurt to hear. “Noct, I-” 

“Don’t, Iggy.” Noctis shifted in his seat as he locked his fingers together. “It’s safer if we don’t talk…” He dropped his voice to a whisper, “…you’re safer if you don’t interact with me.”

“Safer?” Ignis questioned in a whisper before he pulled over and turned around in his seat to look at Noctis. “Safer? You’ve been keeping your distance to keep me safe?” Ignis pushed his glasses up his nose as he bought time to think the situation over.

His life had been awful for years. He worked to exhaustion, contemplated not waking up again and longed for a reason to leave every day but this whole time, Noctis had just been trying to save him from his superiors? Ignis searched Noctis’ face for answers. Was this really true? Was his best friend still beside him after all this time?

Noctis tried to remain steady but with the way Ignis was looking at him, he felt like he was being judged. “Are you mad?” He hated how childish that sounded but his fears easily surfaced after the daily scrutiny that he experienced at the citadel. He knew he could never live up to others expectations of him and he had no idea what Ignis was searching for.

Ignis shook his head but continued to look at Noctis’ face, he needed answers to the questions that now run through his head but for the first time, he had no idea where to begin. Seeing Noctis looking this vulnerable reminded him of the small boy who had once relied on him entirely. “Noct…”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just getting another sad Ignis fic out the way before Ignis fluff week begins lol
> 
> *Warning* This chapter does feature a bit about depression, particularly I tried to write PTSD. I'm going off my own PTSD here and I know other people experience it differently but I'm just writing what I know :)
> 
> So yeah, bit if a painful chapter :'(
> 
> I want to write 'Enjoy!' but it doesn't seem right this time lol
> 
> Oh yeah, just a reminder that I have characters acting out of character :)

Noctis let Ignis lead him back to his apartment. The walk from the car to the elevator, then to his apartment felt longer than it normally did and he couldn’t help but notice how much of hurry Ignis was in.

They hadn’t said a single word since there brief exchange in the car, but something between them seemed to have changed. For one, Ignis was never normally this eager to be alone together, nor did he ever show this much interest in him these days. 

It left him anxious, knowing that they were going to talk. He'd gone three years without opening up to Ignis and now he wasn't even sure where to begin. He knew he'd made Ignis' life difficult but if he hadn't, he was scared how much worse the punishments for being friends could become.

Even now, he was looking over his shoulder. He knew exactly where every security camera was and where every security guard stood. He was terrified that one of them would realise that something had happened between him and Ignis. If they did, he hoped they would put it down to it being his eighteenth birthday.

With the door shut behind them and his shoes kicked off by the door, Noctis followed Ignis into the living room. "Ignis... what I said..." his voice cut off when he finally managed to catch sight of Ignis' face. There were tears rolling down his cheeks. "Specs, I'm sorry. I just thought it was-"

"Noct, please don't apologise. I just..." Ignis removed his glasses, placing them on the dining table and he wiped his eyes. He took a deep breath, focusing on regaining control over his emotions. "All these years, Noct... never once did I consider that you were doing this for my safety. I thought you were just a..." he stopped himself, not wanting to say his true thoughts.

"A...? Arrogant little shit?" Noctis offered. His chest felt tight at the sight of Ignis like this. For years now, Ignis had seemed unaffected by everything and now to see how easily he'd come undone, showed him that they'd probably both been hurting as much as each other.

Ignis contemplated Noctis' suggestion for a moment; it was exactly how he'd been feeling. "Something like that," he agreed and returned his glasses to his face. 

For the first time in three years, Ignis took the time to take a look at Noctis. The young man had grown a lot; his face had changed in particular. He looked more like an adult now that his childish features had faded. These were things that he should have noticed, but up until now, he'd detested Noctis' very existence.

Noctis nodded, unsure what to say. He knew exactly how he'd seemed because he'd devised the entire facade. It'd been three years since it began and though it had become easier to keep the act going, the feeling of it being wrong had never ceased. He looked at Ignis for guidance; this was the longest he had stayed by Ignis' side without causing him issues for a long time. "What now?"

Ignis looked at him, even he wasn't entirely sure. He'd simply never considered this situation. "I believe, we should talk... perhaps I should make us some coffee and we can reconvene on the sofa in a few minutes?" He asked, unsure if that was even the right thing to do.

"Okay," Noctis agreed. He wasn't that keen on coffee but the last thing he wanted to do right now was to point that out after they'd finally seen eye to eye. Noctis stepped backwards and began loosening his tie. "I'm gonna go get changed, then I'll be back..."

With the plan set, Ignis made his way over to the counter and began the process of making coffee. It was strange given that he'd made coffee thousands of times, but he had to focus on every step. 

He was still struggling to comprehend the events of the evening. All this time, he'd believed Noctis lived to make his life hell and yet, the entire time it had been for his benefit. Noctis had been trying, no, he had successfully protected him from his superiors punishments. 

If only Noctis had spoken to him, they could have worked something out. Together they could have avoided this. If only they had tackled this together, then he would never have felt suicidal, nor would he have lived relying on anti-depressants to keep him working in the service of the crown. 

With the coffee made, Ignis reached into one of the top cupboards and retrieved a packet of biscuits. It wasn't much, but the occasion needed to be celebrated somehow and given the approach he'd taken to Noctis over the past few years, he had rarely stocked the cupboards with treats.

Ignis tucked the biscuits under his arm and walked over to the sofa with a cup of coffee in each hand. He set them down and sat beside Noctis who was already sat waiting in his pyjamas. 

Ignis took a sip of his coffee, thoroughly enjoying its flavour for the first time this evening. "So," he began, placing his coffee back on the table, "I believe we should begin at the beginning. It'll probably be easier for the both of us that way."

Noctis knew Ignis would say that and it was exactly what he had been dreading. He'd lived with the flashbacks since he was fourteen. With any luck, Ignis wouldn't need too much detail. Noctis scrunched his eyes closed and bit his lip. "I... decided to do this after that time... you know... when Drautos... when he... he..." He shook his head to fight the images away. His chest had already grown tight. 

Ignis knew immediately what he was referring to but what troubled him most was Noctis' reaction. It was as if he was reliving the event. "Noct... do you have nightmares?" Ignis couldn't diagnose anything, but it was apparent that Noctis needed some help.

Noctis opened his eyes and stared at Ignis, confused how Ignis had deduced that so easily. "Yeah," he tried to say but it came out as a strained whisper. He took a deep breath as he tried to stop himself from recalling them. They happened most nights and even after years of practice, he hadn't managed to control them.

Ignis weighed up the information as the sight of Noctis' trembling hands drew his attention. "Noct, when _that_ happened. When Drautos beat me..." he paused for a moment, observing Noctis' reaction, "...what happened to you?"

Noctis flinched at the word beat and looked down at his feet. He couldn't believe that Ignis could say it so factually as if it no longer bothered him. "Nothing... no one ever touched me..."

That was a relief, to say the least. He could deal with himself being the one punished but if it had ever been Noctis, he wouldn't have been able to live with himself. He paused. That thought struck him as he took another look at Noctis. Was that it? Had Noctis hated himself for all the scoldings and beatings that he had received growing up? If his guess was right, then it had clearly haunted the prince.

"I'm sorry, Ignis. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Noctis whaled as he finally broke and tears filled his eyes. "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! Sorry-" He knew it was entirely his fault. He'd bought all this on the two of them. Time and time again, he'd tried to atone but in the end, the only way to protect Ignis had been to keep pushing him away and he hated himself every day for it.

"Shhhh..." Ignis comforted him and wrapped his arms around his friend. His heart shattered when he felt Noctis recoil, before eventually leaning into his touch. "Don't worry. I don't blame you. Shhhh." He rubbed his hand up and down Noctis back, trying to soothe him. "Don't worry, everything's okay now..."

"But it's not!" Noctis protested, clinging to Ignis. "I hurt you. I shouldn't have... I shouldn't..."

"You should have spoken to me," Ignis said, quietly. "However, I understand why you didn't. You were just doing what you thought was right." Ignis understood, he really did. The superiors were terrifying, to say the least. The way that the country was run was through intimidation and suppression. His only hope was that Noctis would change that and be the leader that brought light back to the people.

"Ignis..." Noctis whimpered and clung to him. It had been so long since he'd been held by someone else, that he couldn't even remember the last time anymore. What he did know though, was that the last time someone had shown him how special he was, it had been Ignis, before he'd pushed him away. His fingers gripped the fabric of Ignis' shirt tighter, not wanting to ever let go of him. "I'm so sorry..."

"Shhh... there's no need to worry. I'm here, Noctis. I'm here. I always will be. I promise." Ignis spoke in a calm voice, trying his best to help Noctis through this. "I'm sorry too," Ignis saw Noctis about to speak but Ignis shook his head with a smile. "Noctis, I'm sorry too. I should have never doubted our friendship and I should have realised that it was all a plan to protect me." He let out a deep sigh and pushed Noctis' hair out of his watery eyes. "I'm not a very good strategist if I never noticed this... forgive me, please?" He asked, disappointed in himself. 

"There's nothing to forgive," Noctis whispered, enjoying Ignis' warmth. For the first time in a long time, he felt truly relaxed. Hopefully, he and Ignis would be friends again and that gave him some hope. Knowing Ignis was on his side, made his future seem bright once more.

They remained in each other's arms for several minutes, both enjoying the comfort that they had long needed. Ignis smiled at Noctis, ignoring the fact that the prince’s tears were saturating his favourite dress shirt.

When Noctis had finally managed to stop crying, Ignis pulled them apart so that they could see each other's faces and with a tender smile, he said, "I forgive you, Noctis. I forgive you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you've ever felt like this, please know people are out there to help <3
> 
> I'm a survivor and this fic is kinda therapeutic in a weird way.
> 
> It's why I can't write this fic often, because I have to make sure I don't trigger myself and that I'm in a good mindset :)
> 
> I love you all ^.^


End file.
